...so i touched it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
