What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
