We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
