Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
