we have officially lost it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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