Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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