Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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