We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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