You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
