how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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