And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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