btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
