Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize