drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
