The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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