I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
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Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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