There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
