I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They have beer where we have blood.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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