I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
