We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I AM VODKA MAN
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
