Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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