tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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