If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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