I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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