I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
