So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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