I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
