I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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