he puts the penis in happiness.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
