Will you blow on my dice?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
