He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
