we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
