never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
