im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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