spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
