I think I died a long time ago.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
