is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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