69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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