I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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