Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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