If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize