I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
