Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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