So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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