i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
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areolas are like halos for boobs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
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I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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