hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
