My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
