i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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