Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
