Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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