so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
