I hate your face
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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