we have officially lost it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
