So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
