Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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