I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
