youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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