Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
