That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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