I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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