My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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