I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
