yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
