She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
