I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ketchup is God's man juice
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
