I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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